Katrina the Mad Fangirl
07 November 2009 @ 01:00 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:


  • 12:22 There is really no way I can explain to my parents that the kind of artwork I do isn't really gallery material, is there. :\ #

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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
06 November 2009 @ 01:21 pm
So my dad's trying to convince me that I should come up with some work to put in the UNTHSC gallery thing. I really don't think I have done anything that belongs in an art gallery. Of course if I tell him this he just goes "of course you do" and seriously it's not just that I don't think I'm a very good artist (I'm not) it's mostly an issue with the kind of art I do. Which is to say, sort-of-anime-style fanart. Virtually every single piece of artwork I have is of a character from some manga or video game, and they usually aren't even very inspired compositions. I'm having trouble believing that is the sort of thing that belongs in a gallery outside an anime convention.

Though I've never talked to any personally that I know of, I know there are people in the world who believe only drawing fanart is a waste of talent. There are those that bitch and moan about "yet ANOTHER anime fanart posted" or whatever. Honestly? I don't even believe I'm a real artist. I don't know how to be a real artist. There is no deep meaning in anything I do, because I'm too dumb to understand things like that. Everything is pure aesthetics.

Setting the style aside, there's still the fact that it's all fanart. It still kind of bothers me that there's barely anything in my portfolio that isn't, but it's not like I had anything else to work with, and it's not likely I ever will. I've already accepted the fact that I am not creative enough to have my own characters with their own stories to tell. Every once in a while I think, "Maybe if I had original characters I'd be more popular" but seriously any characters I try to crank out as a means to that end are just going to fail. I can't make myself care about any characters that I create. I'm terrible with every single aspect of creating characters, from naming to personality to setting. I am just not a story teller, and I never will be. And you know what? I'm not about to try to force myself, because if my reasons aren't simply "I have a story to tell" then there's no point in telling a story.

Anyway, the main point of this was supposed to be that I don't know how to tell my dad why my "art" doesn't belong in a gallery. Very little of it is in any format worthy of a gallery in the first place, since pretty much most of what I have is digitally colored prints not meant to be larger than 8.5x11, most of which I don't even like anymore. He says it's a great way to get my art out there, but I have to ask, out where? Who's going to see it? Those people who instinctively go "anime isn't art" and discount it immediately? People who decide it's "like that Pokeyman stuff"? A bunch of people milling around waiting for their next class, looking but not really? The likelihood of anyone who'd be in my theoretical target market seeing it is pretty slim, I think.

It probably doesn't matter anyway. I already told my dad I didn't have the money to get anything matted or framed, which is entirely true, and while he said he could come up with money to do that, I fully expect him to not bring it up again if I don't keep replying to his e-mails. I don't know if I should just go along with it just to be like, "There, I did it, nobody cared" or what. At the very least I suppose I could get him to pay to get something matted so I can have it to put in an art show somewhere where people might care.
 
 
feeling: sick
 
 
Katrina the Mad Fangirl
06 November 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 10:49 Um, if your chibi versions of the Hitachiin twins are clearly just flipped images, there is no need to upload them as different submissions. #
  • 11:00 Also, I STILL do not think that treating manga as your own personal coloring book is something you need to be putting on dA. #
  • 11:56 I wish it was half as easy to get commissions for real moneys at it is for fake moneys. :[ #
  • 12:07 Top Cat song stuck in my head whyyyyyyy #
  • 14:16 I think it would be awesome if I could breathe through my nose. :( #
  • 17:16 Have been drawing Crows all day wtfffffff. Now if only I could finish any of these pictures into something worth posting somewhere! #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
05 November 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 12:56 I am pretty sure it is not acceptable to replace the word "pounds" with the # symbol. Try "lbs." I know, I know, that's more keys! #
  • 16:00 If you use the descriptor "the boy" THREE TIMES in fairly rapid succession in the first sentence of your gay fanfic, you lose me. #
  • 17:58 Fffff dammit. I just have terrible luck. -__- #
  • 20:45 Somebody turned one of my fanarts into a shitty facebook flair button. I am not sure how I feel about that. XD; #
  • 20:48 Wellll spread the rabyuu love I guess. At least it's not an obnoxious slideshow video on youtube again. XD;; #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
04 November 2009 @ 01:00 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 01:49 Peopllllle all this "you'll get paid if this project is successful!" shit is not gonna fly with ANYONE. #
  • 13:50 I still wish I didn't fail so much at icons omgggg D: #
  • 22:58 Kind of thinking about going to bed. wtf it's only 11. x_x #
  • 00:40 Wow...this manga is kind of terrible and the shoddy translation job is not helping it one bit. #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
02 November 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:


  • 16:01 I think I might need someone to fangirl Okami with. D: #

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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
01 November 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 02:37 Man, I forgot how fucked up Reign was. Lol Macedonia. XD #
  • 12:25 ffffff omg Ouran *flaaaail* ALSO DGM IS BACK but only raws are out and I personally never saw the point in looking at those first. D: #
  • 16:38 Completely failed to get candy. Considering giving random shit we find around the house to any kids that come by. #
  • 23:13 Ffffffff this monthly schedule is going to kill me I just know it. D: D: D: #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
31 October 2009 @ 12:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 02:21 Spending waaay too much effort trying to come up with a design for this pumpkin we seem to have...omg this is ridiculous. #
  • 03:11 Argh. WHY are we always leaving the door open? Somebody didn't close the screen door properly and our indoor cats went outside! #
  • 03:12 Nobody would have noticed if Animal hadn't been out somewhere and saw Mr. M when he got back! And now Max is missing! ARGH. #
  • 03:12 Not going to be able to sleep due to worrying now. Great. -_- #
  • 03:23 Max is back. I'm still annoyed that this was an issue in the first place. And I still don't think I'll be able to sleep. Sigh. #
  • 13:01 Wow, that's awesome. My bank basically charges me a $6 service fee for not having any money. #
  • 13:12 @jentherose I am supposed to either have a direct deposit or use my debit card five times a month, which I really can't do without money! #
  • 13:16 SHIT. I just realized my tuition was due yesterday. Fffff I better not have been dropped from my class already. -_- #
  • 13:40 WHY would you post a job located in GEORGIA as in DALLAS? Seriously I don't care if you say you'll help relocate, that's false advertising! #
  • 13:51 I officially have negative money now! YAAAY #
  • 15:25 I never understood what the fuck was up with the Cid Highwind/Vincent Valentine pairing. Seriously, where the hell do you get that? #
  • 17:18 Just got an e-mail from someone who I'm pretty sure wants a realistic book cover painting. Did they even look at my portfolio? #
  • 17:19 I hate to turn down work, but there's no sense in pretending I can do something I can't! That's just going to end badly! #
  • 18:31 Looks like I'm selling a tote bag. :D #
  • 18:52 @MildKat Studio has a twitter now! For some reason. Maybe if business happens, it will update or something. #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
30 October 2009 @ 01:59 pm
So I officially have negative money in my bank and am having to ask my brother to lend me some. I am pretty sure he is going to be irritated and grumbly about it and I feel bad about it so I really need to figure out how to make some money quickly. I'm having miserable luck finding gainful employment and all of my freelance gigs keep falling through. With all the random crap I have lying around here, I don't really have anything worth selling or pawning or whatever.

So I would reaaally like it if I could find people to give me some commissions so I can at least make a little money to eventually pay my brother back with. If you know anybody who's in the market for some arts or design for any reason, please point them my way! My information for that stuff is all on 17 Cats now.

I also still have these tote bags available for $30 each, and I also do tote bag commissions for the same price! They're one of a kind, hand-painted artworks, and they even have free shipping! They make great gifts for your nerdy friends! There is that crazy gift-giving holiday coming up in a couple months, you know!



If anybody has any ideas or suggestions on things I can do, that'd be great too. I'm stressing out over this stuff, omg. x_x
 
 
feeling: worried
listening: Showaah
 
 
Katrina the Mad Fangirl
30 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 01:11 I actually had to replace my DS stylus! I don't know wtf happened to the first one...I'll find it now that I've dug a new one out though. #
  • 03:03 ...oh crap I'm slashing Okami characters now. I'm pretty much hopeless. XD; #
  • 21:16 wtf WHY DOES 7 11 HAVE DOMO-KUN COFFEE CUPS? XD #
  • 23:58 Almost tempted to watch D.Gray-man again for some reason! Skipping a bunch of episodes, of course... #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
29 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 07:47 I do not appreciate being woken up before 8 in the morning by cats knocking electronics off shelves. -_- #
  • 13:56 WAKA IS MOON LINK! XD #
  • 21:43 Trying to paint Waka and my brain will not stop going "THIS IS HOWARD LINK!" XD wtf #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
28 October 2009 @ 07:33 pm
...is spend a ridiculous amount of time fixing one of those godawful GameStop cover inserts for a game someone sent to my brother.

And now it's better than the original cover!

Warning: HUGE for detail! )

Basically this had to be done because omg I REFUSE TO LOOK AT THAT SHIT. ( HIRE A REAL ARTIST, GAMESTOP. >:[ )
 
 
feeling: accomplished
 
 
Katrina the Mad Fangirl
28 October 2009 @ 01:00 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 15:10 Where is my india ink. D: #
  • 15:12 I found it. But it is stuck shut and I cannot open it. D: #
  • 22:07 Ugh. I'm not smart enough for academia. #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
27 October 2009 @ 12:15 pm
I really wish I had things to write about, but my life continues to be terribly dull.

Um, I had an interview the other day that I doubt I'm getting called back for. Tried to get a job at a restaurant that's opening up near my house, which is probably the only reason I really wanted it. The thing is I'm terrible at interviews, which to employers means I'd be terrible at the jobs themselves, no matter how dissimilar the two are. I don't know how to answer all the vague questions. "Tell me about yourself"? What the HELL do you want to know? I don't know what I can bring to your company. And I cannot answer the "What is your greatest weakness" question without implying that you do not want me working for you! So even if I know I can do a job it doesn't matter, because I invariably sound like an idiot during the interview and I will never hear from you again even to say "sorry, we're going with someone else." Though actually, I don't know if I could handle being a waitress, what with my social anxiety issues and inability to recognize people I don't see on a regular basis but I'd like to be given the chance to at least try.

Bleh, I don't know what to do. I desperately need income, but I'm completely failing at finding any. I wish I could at least pull in a few commissions here and there, but in the world of people who pay for art, I pretty much do not exist, and I don't know how to fix that. I have a tuition payment coming up in a couple days, and I think the bank is going to want a credit card payment from me at the end of the month and I cannot pay either. I don't think I have $50 to my name, but I'm afraid to actually check because I know that will just send me into a panic and depress me more.

I really wish I ever had anything to post in this thing that wasn't whining about how much trouble I'm in and how my life sucks. I keep thinking this can't last, but then it just keeps on lasting.
 
 
feeling: depressed
 
 
Katrina the Mad Fangirl
27 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 12:06 omg why are people banging on the door for someone who hasn't lived here in years? It's a good thing the roof inspector ALREADY woke me up. #
  • 16:24 Trying out a new coloring method. Pretty sure I'm doing it wrong, but whatever! #
  • 16:27 Must...resist...responding to fable references with snide comments. omg dad you are NOT HELPFUL. #
  • 16:46 If I were to make a list of things I need right now, pithy quips meant to make me realize the error of my ways would not be in the top 50. #
  • 18:30 It would be awesome if when I plugged in my headphones I got sound out of BOTH SIDES. And also if they didn't cut out if I nudged the wire. #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
26 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 23:49 Damn. Revisiting old fandoms nobody cares about anymore sucks. It's so hard to find anything. D: #
  • 23:54 omggg I need to draw something, seriously. #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
24 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 11:25 Going to an interview today. Cue relentless nervousness! #
  • 18:04 This is awful. Now instead of relying on me to click awful youtube links, my brother can just shove his iphone in my face. DAMMIIIIT. :( :( #
  • 19:05 The Music Meister was just on CN. LULZ, again. XD #
  • 19:37 Since when is "catwalk" a verb? Pretty sure since NEVER. So I don't think I can "LEARN HOW TO CATWALK ON THE RUNWAY!!!!!!" sorry. #
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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
23 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:


  • 02:35 Oh. Great. People over, presumably watching movies in the living room, and I am not going to be able to sleep. #

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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
22 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:


  • 15:55 ARRRRGH I hate Zippos! DX DX DX DX #

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Katrina the Mad Fangirl
20 October 2009 @ 01:01 am
Because you really care about random little notes and crap:

  • 13:30 I swear my brother takes the longest showers. I don't think mine are that long even when I shave and everything. :[ #
  • 13:32 I wonder if we'll even have time to get everything done today. It's already 1:30. -_- #
  • 13:34 Considering one of the things we have to do involves a DMV, I'm thinking the outlook is not good. >_> #
  • 13:35 Urgh, the energy I had when I woke up actually in the morning is gone already. I just want to go back to sleep. -_- #
  • 15:24 Waiting around in Lake Worth. Yay DMV. #
  • 17:45 Waiting around in Walmart. Kyle's apparently getting an iphone for his birthday. #
  • 20:55 I can finally watch anime on the 360! But not most of the anime I want to watch. Sigh. Why did I get all those stupid mkvs? D: #
  • 21:44 Hmm. I wish I knew what happened to our network. My computer used to be able to talk to the others! #
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